Do you ever feel conflicted, or have difficulty making decisions? This short video will give you some insights to why that can happen as well as a simple process that will help you to begin to unravel your thoughts.
If you prefer to read, rather than to watch, you’ll find a transcription below. This is an automatically generated transcript so please excuse any errors.
Do you ever feel conflicted or have difficulty making decisions?
If you do, and you’d like to understand more about why that is. And if you’d like to have some steps that you can take to resolve things, then keep watching.
Firstly, what do I mean by conflicted? Well, maybe there’s a part of you that says that you should splash out on a night out because you’ve been working really hard. And you’ve been feeling a bit low lately. And then there’s another part of you that says, Yeah, but you really should be saving up for that mortgage. A conflict is when you want two or more things, and they don’t go together.
So let’s begin by talking about why that happened. Did you know that you’ve got three brains, obviously, you know about the brain between your ears, let’s call that your head brain. But what you might not know is that both your gut and your heart contain neurons. And neurons are the stuff that your brain is made of. In fact, your gut contains more new loans than than there are in a cat brain.
Something else that’s really interesting is that when it comes to communication, there are just as many messages going from the neurons in your heart up to your head, as there are that go from your head to your heart. So let’s call these your three brains, your head, brain, your heart, brain, and your gut brain.
I’m guessing you’ve heard people say things like, Listen to your gut or follow your heart. Now, these are not just quaint little sayings or things that your grandmother used to say to neuroscience tells us that thinking doesn’t only happen in your head brain it is a combination of your three centers of intelligence.
Now, I’m sure you agree that in the West, we attach more important to logic and numeric skills, which are your head brain than we do to intuition, which is your gut, brain, or compassion, which is your heart brain. And this is often the cause of internal conflict.
Imagine this for a moment, imagine that we’re a team of three people at work, and one of the three thinks that they’re in charge and doesn’t listen to the other two. How much of a how harmonious team are you going to have going on there?
Now, this is exactly what’s going on with most people, we define ourselves by our intelligence, which is our head brain, and we stop listening to the other two. When that happens, at best, you’ve got a team that’s not functioning very well. and at worst, you’ve got two members of the team that are actively trying to disrupt things, because they’re not being listened to.
Recently, I asked a very stressed client, what their head, their heart and their gut wanted. When they sat back and really listened. They got three very different answers. Interestingly, they’d been feeling conflicted for quite a long time, and not really sure why, once they we’d laid this all out in front of them. Once we figured out what over three different intelligence wanted, it was blindingly obvious why they felt conflicted. And what was really interesting was that as soon as we done this, they began to feel better straight away. As soon as they started to feel better, then they’re more likely to be able to solve the problem and resolve the conflict.
In order to do this, sometimes you’ve got to become a skilled negotiator. And at other times, there is not a single answer that you can find that will satisfy all of your three desires. But it’s not always necessary to find a single answer either. Think of your three brains as being three highly intelligent people, they know that they can’t always get their own way. And sometimes they don’t need to, sometimes they just need to be heard.
If you’re struggling about making a decision, or if you’re struggling with an internal conflict, here’s a little process for you. The very first thing that you need is to be clear on the question that you’re asking. Maybe the question is, should I go for that night out? Or should I save towards my mortgage? Or maybe the question is, should I leave my job and follow my dream to become a painter.
Once you’ve done that, close your eyes, and breathe in. And as you do, imagine that you breathe in into your head, imagine all of the air going up into their head brain. And imagine all of your awareness going up into your head as well. Now most people find that very easy, because that’s where most people’s awareness is most of the time. Once you’ve moved your awareness into that area, ask your head brain. What do you want? Now you’ve got to really do this. This isn’t about the asking the question, I wonder what my head brain wants. Imagine having a conversation with the head brain. And as you do, you need to really listen to the answers that are coming back to you.
Once you’ve done this, then do the same with your other two brains. Imagine that you’re breathing into your heart space. Imagine all of your awareness, being in the center of your chest and asking your heart What do you want to happen, and then do the same thing with your gut.
The answers that you get might surprise you now at best, you’ll be able to resolve the conflict now that you fully understand what is going on. You might need to work on your negotiation skills, as I’ve said, but actually, that’s a very worthwhile thing to do. the very least, is that you’re going to understand the problem from a different perspective of which is always a good thing.
You have three intelligences start to give them a voice more often, and you’ll find that you start to feel conflicted less often. One last thing that’s important to be aware of is that most people have a dominant brain. Some people spend most of their time listening to their head. Some people spend most of their time listening to their intuition. And some people spend most of their time going where their heart tells them to. Allowing one of your brains to run the show all the time is not usually the best solution. Become aware of which of your centers of intelligence is the dominant one, and start to make sure that you give the others a fair hearing as well.
So here’s a question for you which of your brains is normally the dominant one, and when would it be good for you to start to give the others a voice?