Further Details About My Approach To Anxiety
If you have a flat tyre on your car, the first thing that you would do is put air in it. That midht solve the problem.
If the tyre goes down again, you move into the investigative phase, is it a leaky valve or a puncture? You find the problem and take the appropriate action.
When working with anxiety then the first thing that needs to happen is to reduce the symptoms that’s like re-inflating the tyre.
Unless the anxiety is at the is severe or extreme that can happen quickly.
When I was working as a traditional therapist, I became increasingly frustrated when people came back 6 months later, back in exactly the same position. It wasn’t just me, it was happening to my fellow therapists too. A lot of people accepted that’s just the way it is. I refuse to believe that.
What we were really doing was blowing the tyre up, people went away saying they felt great, back to their old selves and life was going to be brilliant.
You can blow a tyre up as many times as you want to, if you don’t fix the puncture it’s going down again.
So, here’s the crunch – my views on how this works and what we need to do about it.
I make no apologies for being very direct and black and white here so that you know where I stand. If you don’t agree with me that’s ok, I’m not trying to convince you.
Stress, anxiety and panic attacks are not random events. They have a structure and happen because of a specific set of conditions.
Those conditions can be a combination of our worldview, our beliefs and expectations about ourselves and other people and other factors. So, in absolute terms, we create our own experience and if I’m being completely blunt, we create our own anxiety.
It’s like a recipe, if we keep following the same recipe, we will keep getting the same result.
Now that doesn’t mean that I’m apportioning blame, of fault – Remember that I’ve been through this but what it does mean is that you have to take responsibility for your own experience. Nobody can change this from the outside, this is something that has to change from the inside.
The most important phase of what we do is to find the DNA of your difficulties. What are the exact set of circumstances, thinking, beliefs and whatever else that is creating this result? Then, what can we do to change that DNA?
I’m not always this direct by the way but I don’t believe in fudging the issue either.
I wouldn’t label what I do as therapy or coaching as it’s totally bespoke to you. That’s why I work with a few clients closely.
When we work together, I keep a professional distance in the relationship but because I’ve been where you are, I can’t not empathise with you and that means that I really care about the results that we get.
As I’ve already said, I’m not trying to convince you that my approach is the right one for you. If you do agree with what I say or are open to the possibility that this could be your way forward, then it may be good for us to start a conversation.Return